OMG...pepper spray SUCKS!!!

[Pertinax]

a skirt with a head AND a pulse!!!!!!! hock: The mind boggles :?

[Gaius Julius Caesar]

:lol:

[P. Clodius Secundus]

a skirt with a head AND a pulse!!!!!!! hock: The mind boggles :?

My wife told me It's a woman's perogative to change her mind.....
I told her "next time get one that works!".... which brings me to my Pepper spray story!!!!
Seriously, I've never been pepper-sprayed but I did have an evaluator on a field exercise who liked to toss a CS grenade right behind my tank every morning just after I'd returned from Observation Post/Listening Post duty. After three nights of no sleep I took my revenge. In Hohensfels Germany they have large and vicious boarhogs. I took a can of smoked baby clams, threw them under the HUMVEE he slept in, smeared the juice/oil all over, and wedged the can in his suspension. Did I mention that the said boarhogs loooove smoked baby clams and can smell them half way to the Danube? That night they held a convention at his place. For some reason he slept in the next morning....

[Gaius Julius Caesar]

Thats a hilairious mental image! :lol: :lol: :lol:

[A_Volpe]

salt and pepper hair??

[Magnus]

Hahaha, I love punking people. When I was doing my infantry course up in CFB Petawawa, one night out on excersise while I was on watch, I smeared honey and cookies on my buddy's rucksack, which was half under his sleeping shelter. It got raided by a bunch of racoons, and he woke up yelling and screaming "We're under attack!".

Pretty funny, but it woke the whole platoon up... :wink:

[Caius Fabius]

Put CN powder in a Purple smoke grenade, then yell gas, mask up and throw it. the folks will just think you don't have any tear gas and are just messing with them.... until......... :lol:

[Paullus Scipio]

Since we are sharing pranks........
In a place far, far away (the Queensland tropical rainforest to be exact) a group of green-clad grunts on exercise squatted amidst the leaf-litter for a hasty O-group.
Suddenly the platoon sergeant hissed "Keep very still! ", slowly stood up and drew his machete, while I just went very wide eyed. He leaned over my shoulder, swung swiftly and neatly decapitated a six-foot long highly venomous snake headed my way and no more than a yard behind......
The platoon sergeant grinned wolfishly and carefully coiled up the deceased snake, muttering he had a use for it.
That night, the tired little grunts bedded down in their " hoochies", to be woken by screams coming from the C.S.M's (warrant officer/company sergeant-major ) "basha" - he had the luxury of a stretcher and tent - "There's a huge snake in the bottom of my sleeping bag !"
He was advised to keep very,very still while professional help and a medical team was sent for.......
Every hour or so, a fictional 'progress report' was relayed to the hapless C.S.M.
It was long after Dawn when he was finally told.....!!!!!!

[wdial]

My brother isn't affected by pepper spray. I've seen him spray it on a steak. If I get down wind from him I get that stinging feeling. Oh and he hit himself with a taser all the time too. He'd come over after work (as a corrections officer) and look like he got in a fight with a vampire.

[tlclark]

When I had been married two weeks my wife pepper sprayed me. She worked in a bad neighborhood and had a canister of pepper spray. When I came to pick her up from work, the nozzle had fallen off and she asked me to replace it, In trying to get it back on I accidentally sprayed myself. She drove me home while I was near unconscious in the back seat.

man it was awful.

[Marcus Hortensius Castus]

My PSG used to form up the platoon on FTX's and would give us talks on anything from little details about our paladins that we may not know, all the way to how to "cheat" things that were drawn out if you went by-the-book.

One day we had the entire battery formed up by section behind our howitzers, thinking we were finally going to get to learn how to use the copperhead rounds we had heard alot about, and since we were in the field we had our k-pots, LBV's, camelbacks, and pro-masks strapped on. We were waiting for him to come out of his tent when a brand spankin new LT came up holding a box of CS grenades. My section chief, Sgt. Beadles, asks "sir, you look lost (as indeed, like most LT's, he was), can I point you in the right direction?" "I'm looking for your smoke. (our Div Arty called our SFC's smokes) He wanted this CS for a demonstration."

So we pointed him to the TAC tent, and our battery commander and 1SG can be heard yelling at him, then our BC, 1SG, PSG, and LT all come out wearing their pro masks and popping CS with the butter in tow, struggling to get his pro mask on and carry the box of CS.

We had anticipated the move since the butter gave it away, and all of us were prepped when Captain Simms yelled "GAS!"

the best part was, a gust of breeze came up just strong enough to blow the cs from 4 grenades 10 feet away right into the butter's face. He failed to clear and seal his mask, so he was choking, puking, the whole 9 yards (nasal mucus hanging down 4 feet, you know the drill..) and Smoke Jones says through his pro mask for everyone to hear,

"THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE STUPID SIR!"