jokes, please...

[Catiline]

Great lines from job evaluations:<br>
1. I would not allow this employee to breed.<br>
2. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be.<br>
3. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.<br>
4. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there.<br>
5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.<br>
6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.<br>
7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.<br>
8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.<br>
9. This employee should go far and the sooner he starts, the better.<br>
10. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. (Demonstrating here that list was written by an American, this is fairly acommonlplace phrase in hte UK)<br>
11. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.<br>
12. A room temperature IQ.<br>
13. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it together.<br>
14. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.<br>
<br>
15. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.<br>
<br>
16. A prime candidate for natural deselection.<br>
<br>
17. Bright as Alaska in December.<br>
<br>
18. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.<br>
<br>
19. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.<br>
<br>
20. Fell out of the family tree.<br>
<br>
21. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.<br>
<br>
22. Has two brains: one is lost; the other is out looking for it.<br>
<br>
23. He's so dense, light bends around him.<br>
<br>
24. If brains were taxed, she'd get a refund.<br>
<br>
25. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.<br>
<br>
26. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'll get change.<br>
<br>
27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.<br>
<br>
28. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.<br>
<br>
29. One neuron short of a synapse.<br>
<br>
30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.<br>
<br>
31. Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.<br>
<br>
32. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.<br>
<br>
33. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.<br>
<br>
34. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.<br>
<p><BR><a href="http://pub45.ezboard.com/fromanarmytalkfrm6.showMessage?topicID=53.topic" target="Rules For Posting"></p><i>Edited by: <A HREF=http://pub45.ezboard.com/ucatiline.showPublicProfile?language=EN>Catiline</A> <IMG HEIGHT=10 WIDTH=10 SRC="http://images.honesty.com/imagedata/h/634/27/26342710.jpg" BORDER=0> at: 7/30/02 6:51:01 pm<br></i>