Bad Dudicus Jokes!

[A_Volpe]

People who know me know I am infamous with really bad Pun jokes. Here's some recent ammo:

I figured out why Jesus had such an advantage in Religion

- He was Cross-Trained!

What did Spartacus say when he was brought to the Appian Way?

- I've certainly reached a Cross-Roads in my life.

What's another name for the Appian Way

- The Cross-Roads of Rome!

What do you call a Norman Standard?

- Normal.

What's another name for religious Germanic soldiers?

- Mennonites (sounds like Knights)

What do you call a Nurse who gives out too many Vaccinations?

- A Cowpoke.


Muahhahahah! :lol: 8) shock: :roll:

[Tarbicus]

Lol :lol:

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Young man, I'd like a Martinus."

The barman looks at him with a patronising air, "Sir, I think you mean to say you would like a Martini."

Caesar's very unimpressed and replies, "Look son, if I'd wanted a double I'd have asked for one!"

[size=67:1b4jkvxr]boom boom[/size]

[Sangue]

Haha! Hmmm... okay, I thought up a few. I bet these make Dudicus seem mainstream...:

- Why are transsexuals so interested in Roman reenactment?
- Because you can get a vagina much cheaper that way! :twisted:

- What's the similarity between an American in Krakow and my segmentata?
- Both are in desperate need of a little polish! :roll:

- Why were the Roman Images site admins executed?
- Because they couldn't get their thumbs up in time!

Okay. Calm down now, Sangue. Easy, easy - breathe deeply. There.

[Arthes]

What did Jesus write on his last postcard
the cross is where I am staying

What did the gay Roman do at Hadrians Wall laundry
Pict up his tunic
(disgusting I know....)
:lol:


regards
Arthes

[Tarbicus]

Okay, you'll probably only get this if you're European:


Caesar returns from Gaul and stands before the cheering Romans in triumph. He raises his hand to quieten them, and proceeds with his speech. "Friends, Romans, countrymen! I have returned triumphant from Gaul where I crushed the Gauls, killing a million of them!"

The crowd goes wild, "Hail Caesar!"

Meanwhile, Caesar causes the crowd to go even wilder by his next statement, "Romans, I shall now depart to Britannia, where I expect to bring greater glory for Rome and quell those barbarian peoples!"

The crowd goes crazy!!

At the back stands Mark Antony, jealous as hell. Turning to a friend he says, "I hate this Caesar fellow. I hear he's nothing but full of crap, and I'm heading off to Gaul to check out this story of his." And he departs.

Months go by (like reading this joke), and Caesar returns once more triumphant and idolised by the plebs. Raising his hand for silence he begins to regale the crowd with his latest story. "Friends, Romans, countrymen, I return triumphant from Britannia, where I killed half a million...."

From the back Mark Antony shouts out, "Caesar, you are a liar!"

The crowd is shocked, and all eyes are on the young Mark Antony.

"I too have been to Gaul, where you say you killed one million Gauls. However, I counted every single body and found there to be only half a million!"

The crowd gasps in surprise, and begins to get angry with Caesar. Once again Caesar raises his hand and there is silence.

"But Mark Antony, surely you must know this one simple fact ... in Europe, an away Gaul counts for double!"

:oops:

[Praefectusclassis]

hock:

Ooompffff

:lol: