jokes, please...

[Catiline]

Last one, i promise...<br>
<br>
These are from a book called 'Disorder in the Court', and are things people<br>
actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by<br>
court<br>
reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were<br>
actually taking place.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: Are you sexually active?<br>
A: No, I just lie there.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: What is your date of birth?<br>
A: July fifteenth.<br>
Q: What year?<br>
A: Every year.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?<br>
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?<br>
A: Yes.<br>
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?<br>
A: I forget.<br>
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've<br>
forgotten?<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?<br>
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.<br>
Q: How long has he lived with you?<br>
A: Forty-five years.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?<br>
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"<br>
Q: And why did that upset you?<br>
A: My name is Susan.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the<br>
occult?<br>
A: We both do.<br>
Q: Voodoo?<br>
A: We do.<br>
Q: You do?<br>
A: Yes, voodoo.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he<br>
doesn't know about it until the next morning?<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?<br>
A: Yes.<br>
Q: And what were you doing at that time?<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: She had three children, right?<br>
A: Yes.<br>
Q: How many were boys?<br>
A: None.<br>
Q: Were there any girls?<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?<br>
A: By death.<br>
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: Can you describe the individual?<br>
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.<br>
Q: Was this a male, or a female?<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice<br>
which I sent to your attorney?<br>
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?<br>
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?<br>
A: Oral.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?<br>
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.<br>
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?<br>
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an<br>
autopsy.<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?<br>
<br>
**********<br>
<br>
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?<br>
A: No.<br>
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?<br>
A: No.<br>
Q: Did you check for breathing?<br>
A: No.<br>
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?<br>
A: No.<br>
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?<br>
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.<br>
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?<br>
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.<br>
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