Help desk transcript (possibly)

[Tarbicus]

It is supposed to be a real transcript, but even if it's not it's a good one




I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f%*%*%g stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

[Praefectusclassis]

:lol: :lol:

[hoplite14gr]

I assure you that in real life clients are even worse.
The worst thing is that we cannot tell them that internet and computers are beyond their ken of understanding :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

Kind regards

[Tarbicus]

My mate used to work in a major high street UK music shop (HMV). Here's a typical customer on a busy Saturday afternoon.

Customer: Have you got that song?
My mate: Which song's that?
Customer: You know, the one on TV last week.
My mate: Can you give me a bit more of a clue?
Customer: It's by that dead famous band.
My mate: ..................and?
Customer: I thought you were supposed to know about music?

[Virilis]

I had a friend who worked at the music shop. The all-time hits which people asked from him (classical music) were:

-"Ravioli`s Bolero"
-"Albino Adagio"

and last but not least:

"Vivaldi`s seven seasons"

[Susanne]

Actually, Jim... we have stupid people like that in our town, too! *Ashamed*

[Tarbicus]

Actually, Jim... we have stupid people like that in our town, too! *Ashamed*

Yup, and the kiddies drink so much on a Saturday night they puke up on the high street, just like here :wink: (been there, seen it)

[Jeroen Pelgrom]

being a computer technician myself, i have seen dozen of these stories.Things i encountered myself:

- someone who put the toner for a printer upside down in it (there was no way you could get it out again)
- a "anti-virus condom" for a disk
- someone who claimed that he put a CD in the computer and when he opened the CD-ROM it was gone! (after opening the PC, i found out he put the CD's in the small opening between the PC and the CD-ROM. There were about 30 CD's lying in the PC...)
- after pointing to a plug-in called "horny women" on the desktop": my son used the PC lately, he must have installed it :roll: )
- a manager who had a lot of porn on his laptop and held a powerpoint presentation with the same laptop. He had the "use my documents as slideshow" as his screensaver installed. When he was talking, the PC went into screensaver. Unfortunatly, he also stored his porn in my documents...
- a person who had "installed" a monitor by taking one from the person next to him (he only put the monitor on top of his PC and didn't switch the cable's...)
- an entire department who couldn't use the network. After a short search we found out that they had installed their own DHCP-server.
- a department which for some reasons lost their network at the end of the day. After a search i found out that their switch was powered by the lightswitch of the room next to them. When the person in that room went home, he put the his light out with the result that the switch also lost his power.
- a server with all the passwords on a small note on its monitor.

You get the idea.....

[Gaius Julius Caesar]

Perhaps there is a career for Jade Goodie after all....... hock: hock: