Hell has frozen over!

[M. Demetrius]

These are not really mice.

Stuff you'll need to copy this recipe:
Whole almonds
pitted dates
fresh green beans
spices you like (suggest oregano and rosemary)
salt
whole peppercorns
ground pork
flour

spice the meat and mix well
split the green beans lengthwise
take about a tablespoon of meat, put an almond inside one end for a "skull"
put a stuffed date in the middle for "innards"
shape the whole to resemble the shape of a mouse
insert half a green bean into the body, as shown
sprinkle with flour
put a single peppercorn in each eye location
place on a cookie sheet and bake at around 325F for twenty to thirty minutes

Now before serving, tell the tale of how the Romans fed their dormice with cream to make them fat and juicy, and just before they readied them to cook, they would feed them extra honey to sweeten the insides. Ad lib as much as you can stand. Keep a straight face when telling the story, and don't forget to tell them that the skull should still be a little crunchy... :-?

Don't worry that the green beans will turn stiff and dark colored or charred. It just makes them look more like tails.

So really, it's almond and date-stuffed pork. Still authentic ingredients, if not really mice. You're right. Fun for a party. Add a little sweet and sour sauce for a dip, and be sure to take the first one with gusto. Odds are, half the people will not try them.