11-22-2007, 02:47 PM
Here's wishing all y'all a Bountiful and Happy Thanksgiving! .. no matter which side of the Pond or the Border you're from!
Cups lifted high for all that there is and all that there will be for which we are thankful!
And now for something completely different....
Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
A: God save the kin.
The football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey kicked the ball towards goal, ran down field, headed it, juggled it, ran right through the defensive line and fired a shot that blew through the back of the net. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.
Q; What goes "gobble, gobble, gobble.. ha-ha-ha.. thump, plop, roll"?
A: A turkey laughing its head off!
Three turkeys are stranded on a desert island. A redhead, a brunette and a blonde. They've been there for years, but now the coconuts were running out and the fishing has become very poor. Being able to see a larger island on the horizon they decide to swim for it. The redheaded turkey gets about 1/4th of the way and drowns. The brunette turkey gets about 1/3rd of the way and gets eaten by a shark. The blonde turkey gets halfway, realizes she's very very tired and swims back.
1: How many turkeys does it take to change a light bulb?
2: What a stupid question!
1: No, seriously, how many turkeys does it take to change a light bulb?
2: Jeez, I don't know, how many turkeys does it take to change a light bulb?
1: Four
2: Four?
1: Yes, four.
2: What do you mean "four"? Why does it take four and how do they do it?
1: That's if they're Irish turkeys
2: Irish turkeys? What's that got to do with it?
1: Isn't it obvious?
2: NO!
1: Ah, I see.... well, then there's no point in any further explanation. A joke doesn't work if you have to explain it
2: Hey now wait a minute. Is this like that joke that says "four Irishmen, one to hold onto the light bulb and three to drink so much that the room starts spinning?
1: Yes! so you Do understand!
2: You idiot! Turkeys don't drink alcoholic beverages!
1: They don't?
2: NO! They drink water.
1: Water? That's silly. That'll never get them drunk!
Q: What did the turkey say to the farmer who came after him with an axe?
A: Stuff it!
Q: Favorite turkey game?
A: French Revolution
Q: What's the happiest day in Goose history?
A: The day the English discovered the North American Turkey
Q: What sound does a turkey in orbit make?
A: Hubble, hubble, hubble
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy answered, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Cups lifted high for all that there is and all that there will be for which we are thankful!
And now for something completely different....
Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
A: God save the kin.
The football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey kicked the ball towards goal, ran down field, headed it, juggled it, ran right through the defensive line and fired a shot that blew through the back of the net. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.
Q; What goes "gobble, gobble, gobble.. ha-ha-ha.. thump, plop, roll"?
A: A turkey laughing its head off!
Three turkeys are stranded on a desert island. A redhead, a brunette and a blonde. They've been there for years, but now the coconuts were running out and the fishing has become very poor. Being able to see a larger island on the horizon they decide to swim for it. The redheaded turkey gets about 1/4th of the way and drowns. The brunette turkey gets about 1/3rd of the way and gets eaten by a shark. The blonde turkey gets halfway, realizes she's very very tired and swims back.
1: How many turkeys does it take to change a light bulb?
2: What a stupid question!
1: No, seriously, how many turkeys does it take to change a light bulb?
2: Jeez, I don't know, how many turkeys does it take to change a light bulb?
1: Four
2: Four?
1: Yes, four.
2: What do you mean "four"? Why does it take four and how do they do it?
1: That's if they're Irish turkeys
2: Irish turkeys? What's that got to do with it?
1: Isn't it obvious?
2: NO!
1: Ah, I see.... well, then there's no point in any further explanation. A joke doesn't work if you have to explain it
2: Hey now wait a minute. Is this like that joke that says "four Irishmen, one to hold onto the light bulb and three to drink so much that the room starts spinning?
1: Yes! so you Do understand!
2: You idiot! Turkeys don't drink alcoholic beverages!
1: They don't?
2: NO! They drink water.
1: Water? That's silly. That'll never get them drunk!
Q: What did the turkey say to the farmer who came after him with an axe?
A: Stuff it!
Q: Favorite turkey game?
A: French Revolution
Q: What's the happiest day in Goose history?
A: The day the English discovered the North American Turkey
Q: What sound does a turkey in orbit make?
A: Hubble, hubble, hubble
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy answered, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Hibernicus
LEGIO IX HISPANA, USA
You cannot dig ditches in a toga!
[url:194jujcw]http://www.legio-ix-hispana.org[/url]
A nationwide club with chapters across N America
LEGIO IX HISPANA, USA
You cannot dig ditches in a toga!
[url:194jujcw]http://www.legio-ix-hispana.org[/url]
A nationwide club with chapters across N America
