Rome vs Han essay- want get some opinions

[p3t3r1]

Hi guys. I finally finished my reserach paper on the Rome vs Han topic. I went with Han superiority since it was easier and there were more resources to look at. I based on all research on books and have referenced all the books I consulted in my essay. Since I done this pretty quickly, I didn't have time to type up my work cited but you can find author's last name and page number if you want. I want to get some opinions on my essay since this thing worth a ton of marks. 20% of the entire course + 5% on presentation. If any experts here could scan it through and point out my mistakes I would be really grateful. Thanks alot.

I also need to shorten my 1500 words essay into 1000 words. If you see anything that is irrevelant, please let me know so I can delete it. Thisd is my second copy. I completely revamped the first since I felt it was more a dump of facts rather than essay. My third point on this essay is quite weak though.

Anyways.. here it is.

Rome vs Han: The Triumph of the Dragon
The great Greek philosopher Aristotle once said “we make war that we may live in peaceâ€