Euro-English - Printable Version

Euro-English - Printable Version

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Euro-English - spyros - 11-24-2006

Disclaimer: Just a joke I thought of sharing

The EU Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be
the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the
other possibility

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Re: Euro-English - Q Rutilius - 11-24-2006

That is hilarious! Or should that be: That iz hilarius!

Re: Euro-English - Ioannis - 11-24-2006

Very good indeed!!!! :lol:

Re: Euro-English - Marcus F. - 11-24-2006

Quote:That is hilarious! Or should that be: That iz hilarius!

Zat not "that"! :twisted:

Re: Euro-English - aitor iriarte - 11-24-2006

Hey Marcus, an animated avatar! That is almost obscene! Tongue

Aitor

Re: Euro-English - Gaius Decius Aquilius - 11-24-2006

And all this happens when Spanglish is on the rise in the US. It will then not be possible to communicate in each respective English that will be coming into use. The English "you" in Spanglish is "joo", in Euro-English it is "zou". Perhaps the problem can be worked out by an agreement to adapt the existing form of English as a future compromise language.

My last name is found in Norway, England, France, Spain, Italy, and the Mid-east. I used to have a terrible time remembering what I claimed to be when filling out the affirmative action section of an employment form. I claimed "Circassian" once.

Ralph Izard

Re: Euro-English - Robert Vermaat - 11-25-2006

Quote:Hey Marcus, an animated avatar! That is almost obscene!

Actually, it's illegal on RAT and we have asked members to change them in the past... But if Aitor had not said anything I really would not have noticed. :twisted:

Re: Euro-English - MARCvSVIBIvSMAvRINvS - 11-25-2006

BTW he forgot the last rule........ everything should be written in abbreviations like the Romans did..........

M.VIB.M.

Re: Euro-English - FAVENTIANVS - 11-25-2006

Quote:
aitor iriarte:12o0siwj Wrote:Hey Marcus, an animated avatar! That is almost obscene!

Actually, it's illegal on RAT and we have asked members to change them in the past... But if Aitor had not said anything I really would not have noticed. :twisted:

Why is it illegal?

Re: Euro-English - Praefectusclassis - 11-25-2006

Quote:Why is it illegal?

Cause we said so... :wink:
No, really, I want to prevent RAT from looking like a carnival fair with flashing avatars, signature images etc, like some other forums have.

Re: Euro-English - Avatar - 11-25-2006

Zat joke waz very hilarius... Tongue

I loved it!

Re: Euro-English - FAVENTIANVS - 11-26-2006

Quote:
Quote:Why is it illegal?
Cause we said so... :wink:
No, really, I want to prevent RAT from looking like a carnival fair with flashing avatars, signature images etc, like some other forums have.

OK. Thanx!